Earlier this year I started on a new adventure — a romantic and sexual relationship with Siegfried Volsung, my first new vanilla romance in nearly a quarter of a century. My spice thought I was insane for trying; they made suggestions like “Take a masochist to bed with you — you’ll need *someone* to hurt.” But he seemed special — thoughtful, loving, intelligent, unbelievably sexy — and he was willing to try.
For twenty years or so, my chief sexual identity has been as a Domme. The full description is usually “bisexual polyamorous SadoDomme with a dash of masochism.” In my rare forays into bottoming, I always kept control of the scene — it was like having someone scratch my back. (“Down a little and to the right — yes, thanks, that’s it.”) I have said repeatedly that I could never have a vanilla sexual relationship — and that I could never submit to anyone.
I was wrong. At least, I was wrong about the submitting. Because Siegfried himself turns out not to be vanilla, and though we do switch with each other, he’s my Master in most of our scenes, and I’m having a wonderful time exploring the delights of submission.
Don’t worry that the old Lorelei is gone. My primary identification is still Domme; I don’t foresee myself switching with anyone else. It’s very much a scene-based dynamic, not lifestyle; we won’t be doing 24/7. What this is doing for me — aside from giving me great joy and lots of hot scenes — is bringing home the intensity and power of submission. At last I know from the inside what it feels like to be diving. I’m already a better Domme because of it. And I am learning to be his good submissive.
Expect further entries on what I’m learning and how I’m processing this fundamental shift in my sense of who I am, as well as the usual posts about my life as a SadoDomme.