Events
Valentine’s Day and Lupercalia
Author Lorelei
Quiz:
Valentine’s Day is:
- a commemoration of the martyrdom of a Roman whom the Catholic Church removed from the calendar of saints in 1969
- a commercialized festival celebrating a romantic love so profoundly stereotyped that it practically qualifies as a fetish
- a leftover of pagan fertility rituals such as Lupercalia, during which naked celebrants whipped each other into a passion
- a day to throw money away on bad chocolate and scentless roses
- a heteronormative consumerist festival that does for real love what commercial Christmas celebrations do for Jesus
- also known as S.A.D., Singles Awareness Day
- being ruined, ruined I tell you, by cynics like Mistress Lorelei
- a good idea, if only to break up the misery of February
- all of the above
I seriously dislike the schmaltzy commercial aspects of Valentine’s Day, but I’m a sentimentalist at heart, and I think celebrating love is a good idea. Especially in February, which is in many places a month of dreary skies and icy roads.
However, I am also thoroughly in favor of Lupercalia: a festival of purification by whipping, stimulating fertility by whipping, and relieving the misery of mid-February by whipping. Even if you’re not feeling especially impure, a good flogging can get your juices flowing. Also, the fertility stimulated can be creative and symbolic, not necessarily reproductive.
So embrace the power of “and.” Go forth and celebrate Lupercalia. Spank one another, or use leather straps, which are more authentic. Break out the goatskin flogger and the ancient Roman recipes. Then honor the modern Western holiday by having some good chocolate and champagne.
The Spanking Mermaid
Author Lorelei
A good friend of mine recommends (metaphorical) codslapping as a way of dealing with male chauvinists, clueless fools, and others who would benefit from the impact of a large, cold, wet fish in the face. This mermaid takes a more fundamental approach, but it’s the same idea.
She looks just like me, assuming I were thinner and had a visible mermaid’s tail. Definitely the same expression.
This fabulous image is from the brilliant cartoonist HOB. You can see (and buy!) his work in person in the dealers room at FOGcon, March 11-13, 2011, in San Francisco, CA. FOGcon is a new speculative fiction convention featuring panels, writing workshops, book signings, readings, parties, free food, and more good conversation per square yard than almost any other venue in San Francisco. Yes, I will be there.
Modern Sex Conference: Communication or Old-Fashioned Silencing?
Author Lorelei
Oregon State University is hosting a conference on Modern Sex: Privilege, Communication, and Culture. They invited the eminent Tristan Taormino to be keynote speaker. Great choice!
Then — after she had bought plane tickets, which they are now refusing to reimburse — they canceled her appearance. Why? Does it turn out she isn’t actually an internationally known and respected sex educator? No. Everybody acknowledges her impressive CV: the decade as a sex columnist for the Village Voice, her dozens of appearances at college campuses to lecture about sex, her many workshops and television appearances, her fine films, her well-crafted, thoughtful, intelligent writings.
In fact, all those things that make her an expert are the reason they’re canceling. Because she does know and write about sex, and makes films about sex, and gives advice about sex on her wonderful website, and probably even has sex herself. (OK, I’ll be honest. They didn’t actually say that it’s because she might not be a virgin, but I bet they’re thinking it.)
I realize this sounds insane. It is insane. It’s also incredibly stupid.
The problem is this:
On Tuesday, January 18, 2011, Steven Leider, Director of the Office of LGBT Outreach and Services contacted Colten Tognazzini, Tristan Taormino’s manager, to say that the conference had come up short on funding. Tognazzini told him that since the travel was booked and the time reserved, they could work with whatever budget they did have. Leider said that would not be possible: “We have to cancel Ms. Taormino’s appearance due to a lack of funding. It has been decided that OSU cannot pay Ms. Taormino with general fee dollars, because of the content of her resume and website.” At OSU, ‘general fee dollars’ include taxpayer dollars given to the University by the Oregon State Legislature to defray various costs. They differ from ‘student activity dollars,’ which are part of every student’s tuition and help fund student groups and activities.
Just let that soak in, friends. OSU refuses to pay an expert because the taxpayers might be bothered by her specialty. Yeah, I know: we’re living in an era that is positively psychotic about sexuality, when it’s fine to use the hint or promise or exploitation of a natural urge to sell everything but Bibles, but honest, open discussion about sex and its pleasures leads to screaming hysteria that we’ll all end up pregnant and syphilitic in hell.
Dear OSU: 99% of taxpayers have sex, had sex, will have sex, obsess about sex, and could use some education about sex. You had a chance to be a leader and stand for the university’s intellectual freedom. Now you look like timid fools. “Fools” because just paying Taormino out of the general fund would have been fine, and now you have a major scandal on your hands.
How You Can Help
Tristan Taormino says:
If you support free speech and my mission of sexual empowerment, here’s how you can help:
—Twitter: retweet my original post and make sure to include the hash tag #OSUantisex:
Keynote by @TristanTaormino canceled by OSU admin b/c of resume & website RT in protest http://tinyurl.com/4f4wmor #OSUantisex
—Twitter: reply to Dean of Student Life @deanmamta and @oregonstateuniv
—Email or call: voice your opinion about OSU’s decision to cancel my appearance at the last minute and not reimburse me for travel expenses to the following people (read press release below for details)
Larry Roper, Vice Provost for Student Affairs 632 Kerr Administration Building Corvallis, OR 97331-2154 541-737-3626 (phone) 541-737-3033 (fax) email: larry.roper@oregonstate.edu
Dr. Mamta Motwani Accapadi Dean of Student Life A200 Kerr Administration Building Corvallis, OR 97331-2133 541-737-8748 (phone) 541-737-9160 (fax) email: deanofstudents@oregonstate.edu twitter: @deanmamta
Dr. Edward J. Ray President 600 Kerr Administration Building Corvallis, OR 97331-2128 541-737-4133 (phone) 541-737-3033 (fax) email: pres.office@oregonstate.edu
Celebrate Harvey Milk Day
Author Lorelei
Happy birthday, dear Harvey Milk. You still give us hope.
I am celebrating with tickets to Mollena‘s one-woman show, 69Stories. Not only is she a brilliant writer/performer, she is the 2010 International Ms. Leather.
Go forth and be as queer, as flamboyant, as unique as you are. Harvey Milk died for your right to be queer. For too many of us, the alternative was staying home and the slow, stifling suicide of the closet, or the faster death of addictions or the razor. But some of us came to San Francisco where we could be out and proud: freaky, passionate, kinky, and accepted.
Live in San Francisco
Author Lorelei
When Someone You Love Is Vanilla with Lorelei and Mistress Freya
At the Society of Janus
February 25, 2003 8:00 pm Doors open at 7 pm Cost: $5, members of Janus & Reciprocal, $15, guests