Everyone has a different idea of the perfect submissive. (Thank heaven — otherwise there would be a stampede in the direction of one or two, and everyone else would be wretched.) I’m curious as to which of the various qualities and behaviors are most important to you — and why.
Here are some possibilities:
My idea of service is relatively limited. Getting me tea when I ask for it — that’s a large percentage. Picking up library books, say. Those are things I might do for a sub who was tired or over-stressed, though then it wouldn’t be service, it would be nurturing, and done from a Domme perspective.
Obedience is important, but it has never been a big issue — I expect to get it, my subs expect to give it, and I don’t play resistance games. You wanna be forced, find someone else.
Masochism is nice. I’m a sadist, and I do love playing with someone who gets off on the pain I love to dish out. On the other hand, I also need to give bad pain occasionally, to push hard, to test the quality that is most important to me: Surrender.
What I want from a sub (male or female — I’ve had both) is not pampering or obeying my lightest wish, but something considerably harder to define — surrender. I want to be able to play with my sub like a toy — touch, tease, hurt, fuck, taste, do anything I want, when I want it. I want to be able to evoke fear and ecstasy.
Likewise, I want to get to know all the sub’s deepest inner emotional buttons, and I want to be able to work with those buttons. To push a sub hard, emotionally and physically. To gain their love and loyalty and surrender. I want to probe my sub’s inner self, to discover all the secrets, and to love their pain and shame. As my sub surrenders, I can further and further explore these depths.
Building that kind of trust takes time and love. The sub and I need to be on the same emotional wavelength. But to me it’s incredibly satisfying. Service is fine, obedience is cool, and I looooove playing hard — but to me, that’s not what matters most.
So what matters most to you? What do you like?