Definition: A geek is a person who cares as much or more for facts, gadgets, books, or ideas as for people. Zie may display knowledge the way others show off pictures of their grandchildren: as a way of sharing what zie most values in order to create a connection.

Unsuccessful geek social interaction:

Geek: Look at this attractive lump of knowledge!
Nongeek: Who cares?

Successful geek social interaction:

Geek 1: Look at this attractive lump of knowledge!
Geek 2: It is indeed attractive, as is this thematically related factoid!

This may go on to the next stage.

Geek 1: I am not familiar with that factoid, but I find the thematic relationship most satisfactory.
Geek 2: Perhaps you are familiar with this inaccurate yet intriguing story.
Geek 1: Yes, and I can explain how the inaccuracy was propagated.
Geek 2: Would you like to have sex?
Geek 1: Under certain conditions, yes. Could you be more specific?
Geek 2: In privacy, without most or all clothing, using appropriate contraceptive and safety measures, and perhaps introducing certain specialized equipment and attitudes.
Geek 1: Having read your blog, I am aware of the types of equipment and attitudes you prefer during sex. However, I am not entirely sure whether your chosen conditions include me.
Geek 2: On this occasion they do.
Geek 1: Let us have sex, then.

[They depart]

Seriously, the “geek flirt” is defined as a straight proposition. “I’d like to have sex with you.” It works quite often, and nobody needs to worry about social subtleties. Also, “No, thanks” is an acceptable answer.

You may notice a certain similarity to BDSM negotiation here. In my experience, the BDSM world and the geek world overlap to a great extent. Many BDSMers can be classified as sex geeks. (Classifying is a profoundly geeky activity.) Certainly not all sex geeks are into power or pain, but let’s face it, BDSMers have cool toys, and those always attract geeks.

Our fascination with the kink isn’t limited to doing it or having it done to us. We also love the tools and techniques of BDSM. This is why Dom/mes bond over looking at each other’s toyboxes. Showing off your toys is not primarily a dominance display, although it can have that function. Mostly it’s a way to start a conversation. This is how we connect with each other.

Dom/me 1: Look at this flogger. Heartwood.
Dom/me 2: She was the best, although Metz made some great stuff too.

Sound familiar?